31st October

HOLY CRAP.

1 hour until the beginning of NaNoWriMo 2008!
I'm... not as excited as I have been before, but looking forward to it anyway. I've not finished all the homework I wanted to finish, but it's okay, I still have a few days before school.

SHIIIIIT.
XD

No blog yesterday because I spent the day/night with friends. We played squash at Dragon's, where Lauren got us in for free, and then we ate junk and watched movies all night. There could be some amsuing photos on facebook soon >_>

But anyway. I WILL post a blog about London eventually, it's just going to take a lot of effort to write because so much happened. I think that if I leave it for a while, I may forget the unimportant details and just be able to post something a little more interesting for you all.


As for right now:
1 HOUR UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008.
XDD
I'm shitting myself. I don't have a plot or anything... But, I think I'll start with Rouge. Just a little scene, and then I think I'll set the rest of the novel in the autumn. It'll start on Halloween, I think, and have an introduction to Madam Butter Rum's Sweet Emporium and AC, Danger, Q... a few of those people, and then I'll get into action a little more tomorrow, I think.

I don't know how long I'll be able to stay up, but I think that 1am should probably be my cut off. I need enough sleep that tomorrow I'll be able to do some writing without dying of sleep deprivation, so, yeah. >_>

Now, I'll take a nap for an hour, and get myself ready for the madness. Holy cow. X3

60 MINUTES EXACTLY BY MY LITTLE COMPUTER CLOCK UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008!!
<3

29th October

Shit a brick.

I can't be bothered to blog tonight. (Today? Holy shit. TODAY. It's October 30th).

Can I panic nao?

*cries*

2 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

27th October

Now playing: Wicked Original Broadway Cast - No Good Deed

One question haunts and hurts, too much, too much to mention: Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye? If that's all good deeds are, maybe that's the reason why no good deed goes unpunished

I owe you all a blog update, one all about the antics of London, and my shopping trip today with the girls (and Joe >_>) but, to be quite honest, it's going to have to wait until I have more energy. I was going to blog it today, and even told myself that I really really should or else I'd be a loser, but I think I'd rather be a loser than be so tired I can't function.
X3

Why yes, I am that tired. I'm surviving on a little over 18 hours sleep for the whole weekend, and that does not bode well for somebody who would, on average, sleep over 30 hours in a single weekend. XD

So, I'll update when I have more energy. :]

Toodles~

4 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

One more disaster I can add to my generous supply?

23rd October

Now playing: Emilie Autumn - Juliet

Meet me beneath my balcony and say 'no one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day'. Underneath my balcony I'll say 'no one but you could ever fill my night, be the sunlight in my every day'.

Excited about tomorrow and the weekend now. It's going to be great. I'm going to make sure I keep a little journal about everything while we're gone as well. A whole weekend in London. Epic.

>D

Hazel's house by 3pm. We're going to stuff our faces (or not) and then get on the coach by 6:05pm. We should be in London by 10pm ish, and then we've got to hop on the underground and make our way around the system for a little while, so we can get to our hotel. >D I hope it all goes well. I'm quite nervous as well, since we don't really know where we're going... XD

Best get some sleep. I want to be alive tomorrow. =P
:D

8 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

You're in my stars you know, don't need no crystal ball to tell me so...

22nd October

Now playing:

How old are you? I'm older than you'll ever be. I've been dead a thousand years, and lived only two or three. I don't mind telling you : my life was ended by your hand, the kind of murder where nobody dies. But I don't suppose you'd understand. Call off the search; we've found her.

I really should learn to make these entries before I get tired, shouldn't I? It's pathetic really. It's 10pm and already I'm dying to get myself to bed. Year 13 in sixth form really does take it out of you. I guess I never really figured how much it would drain me. And this does NOT bode well for NaNo... XD

Tonight, as well as having Alex and Hazel around to plan everything out for the weekend, I managed to also sit myself down, write an essay and do a little NaNoWriMo planning. I decided that I wanted to have twins in my novel at some point this morning, having known that I wanted one of the twins to exists for a few weeks now. I couldn't decide at first which personality to give to which twin, which took some time to figure out, but now I think I've sorted it out. Cassidy (who is no longer the gang-fight daughter (that's now Ginger)) is going to be the intelligent twin, the one who always comes up with the routines for their acrobatic shows etc. and Vivienne-You-Can-Call-Me-Vee is the 'blonde', not-so-intelligent one. I think it should work well, and I think they might accidentally end up becoming central characters... >_>; Shh, don't tell Ginger, Danger or Q. They might hurt me while I sleep. -ninja-

Anyway. Other than the NaNo planning, and the excitement for this weekend (which is building up nicely now), there's only one more piece of information of any importance. And that, ladies and gentleman, and is that I have managed to nab a spot on the school trip that's going to Stratford to see Romeo and Juliet! Performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company! *scream of excitement*

I was gutted when I found out that we English Lit. students wouldn't be going, but the Lang and Lit kids and the Drama kids would be. However, once I'd resigned myself to this inevitability, an opportunity presented itself when Sarah said to me that her teacher had mentioned that there were five spare tickets. I almost raped her in excitement, asking her to ask said teacher if it would be possible for me to go. And it is. And I am. £27 it costs, but compared to the £130 minimum I'm dishing out this weekend for the London Scene with the girls (and Sam), I think £27 is entirely reasonable, and not at all expensive. XDD

I just REALLY REALLY want to go.
It's all good. Mum agreed.
: D
*does a happy dance*


And now it's bed time. >_o

7 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

If I am Lolita, then you are a criminal and you should be killed...

21st October

Now playing: Les Miserables - At The End Of The Day

At the end of the day you're another day older, and that's all you can say for the life of the poor. It's a struggle, it's a war, and there's nothing that anyone's giving. One more day standing about, what is it for? One day less to be living.

I know, I know, I missed a blog yesterday. I swear there is a good explanation for it. Or, rather, a lame explanation but an explanation all the same. (Jeeze, how many times can I use the same word in one sentence?) Anyway, last night when I got home I went straight to the writing corner and read a nice big chunk of No Plot? No Problem! (such an AWESOME book, by the way, I read it every year before NaNo comes around now) and then read the rest of The Hound of the Baskervilles. I never realised how awesome that book was, either. It's shocking.

Anyway, either the coffee I made myself as a treat, or a nice dose of PMT (I hate that time of the month...) lead to an extremely aggravating headache. I was in bed by 10pm, which is early for me these days, and so I really couldn't be bothered to mess with my head any more than necessary to make a blog entry.

There. Lame excuse ahoy! :D

About today... What happened today? Very little really. I could regale you all with tales of school and other random shit that's happened to me today (what little there is), but none of that is interesting enough to warrent me writing it down. Aside from doing a little writing in my study period and finishing up writing the character sketch for Rouge at the point she decided she was going to take over the world, I have done nothing creative and therefore nothing that deserves to be put in this journal.

I got in from school, and promptly decided that I was going to have a nap. Which I did. I slept until 6pm, and then was still doing homework until twenty minutes ago. It's pretty pathetic really, but at least I feel relatively cheerful thanks to that little period of uninterrupted sleep in my nice warm bed. I think I'm coming down with the flu. >_> whatever, I'll push it off. I really, really, REALLY will. There is nothing in hell that would make me miss school now, I can't afford to.

So, however boring my life is, at least I can now start counting down the time until NaNo starts. Yes, that's right! 10 DAYS UNTIL NANOWRIMO 2008 PEOPLE!!! I don't think I've ever been so excited in my whole life. Except from this time last year, and, the year before..... XD I'm such a dork.

So, 10 days to go means it's time to really knuckle down and get some planning done. Or, in my case, surf the forums for any possible dare that I could use to make my plot even more wacky and insane than it already was. I'm also getting ready for my weekend in London. I hope I'll get some random inspiration while I'm there, since I love London so much. I don't think I'd like to live there, but a whole weekend there is going to be FUCKING AWESOME. Yes, that's right, it even deserves a swear word of appreciation.

And don't forget. I hate anime. :)

As for that character sketch...

Beginnings

The gentle patter of raindrops on the glass windows echoed through the nursery, casting long thin dripping shadows along the walls. Blue and I were bored, as usual, and sat together in front of the fire which had burned down a number of hours ago and was now only smouldering embers. Our mother had come in and taken Indie out to nurse her in private, and with the nanny having quit last week when she realised that my mother was going to refuse her next pay check, Blue and I were left to our own devices.

The weather, however, decreed that we could do very little to amuse ourselves other than hide in our room and pretend to like each other. Back then, and I’ll glad admit it, Blue was an annoying little brat, and I was a selfish, determined equal. We hated each other.

The nursery was growing cold, and rather than sit in his armchair like normal, Blue left my side and resigned himself to shivering under the covers of his bed, peering out with dark, intelligent eyes. I drew my legs underneath myself and settled down to make use of my evening by reading some book or other- I forget which, now, it was so long ago.

The scene becomes imprinted upon my memory at the point when I was rudely interrupted from my musings by the family cat, a little white ball of fur named Wiggles, who climbed onto my lap and began almost instantly to make himself comfortable and purr loudly with content.

“Hey, look,” I had commented, setting my book aside. “I’m Dr. Masterville.” I sat myself up straighter and began to pet the cat in a rhythmic manner, making reference to our favourite character from a familiar comic. “Look, Blue, look. Isn’t that funny?” I petted Wiggles some more, and giggled to myself.

“You don’t look anything like him,” Blue corrected me. He raised an eyebrow in a rather annoyed manner.

“Why the hell not?” I demanded with a measured amount of indignance. I thought I looked very much like Dr. Masterville, and to my young mind it seemed that Blue obviously just hadn’t read enough of the comics.

“Well,” he considered, and slipped the covers from his head to his shoulders. “For starters you’re a girl. Dr. Masterville isn’t a girl, he’s a man. Like me.”

“You’re not a man,” I told him. “You’re a stupid little boy. I do look like Dr. Masterville. I’ve got the cat and everything.”

“You’re not evil enough, either,” Blue carried on. “You’re too girly, and you squeal too much. Girls like the colour pink and don’t like getting muddy or wet. Villain’s have to be stronger than that because they have to be brave. You’re not brave.”

“I am too!” I retorted and stuck my tongue out angrily. “I’m braver than you anyway. You cried yesterday because you saw a spider in your room.”

“It was a big spider-”

“And you still wet the bed.” I smirked.

“I do not!” Blue cried and huddled himself back up in the blanket. “You’re a girl, anyway. Girls suck.”

“I am not.” I shook my head and stuck my tongue out again. “I’m every bit as man as you and I can prove it.”

“Oh yeah? And how?”

“I bet you I’m taller than you.”

“Nuhuh.”

“I bet you I can run faster than you, too. I bet I can play the piano better, and I bet I’m cleverer than you, so there.”

“Nope, nope, nope,” Blue swore, eyes darkening. “Besides, you’ll never be as powerful as Dr. Masterville. He owns the whole world, and all the people in it, and he could make everybody do exactly as he wanted. You couldn’t do that.”

“I could so!” I argued. “Why couldn’t I?”

“Because you’re a girl-”

“You already said that.”

“You didn’t let me finish. You’re a girl, so you’re weak and a loser, but you also don’t have as much power as Daddy did.”

“What’s he got to do with anything?” I questioned. “Why bring him into it? He’s been gone since you were a baby- I think he didn’t like you.”

“Daddy was a des- descen- Daddy was related to that man who used to rule Exos. The Thir? The Thau. He was related to a real villain, a real powerful man, and he was powerful too. You won’t be like him.”

“Why won’t I? I can be powerful, too.”

“Not you can’t. You’re not like Daddy.”

“I could be.”

“No you couldn’t. You’re a girl.”

“Shut up!” I shouted at him. The cat jumped from my lap as I clambered to my feet. “Shut up Blue! You’re stupid, and I will be powerful, and I’ll show you how evil I can be.” I stomped over to him and hit him twice on the shoulder. He cowered beneath his blanket, only his eyes peeking out of the darkness that cloaked him.

He didn’t say anything at first, and the only sound was the rain on the glass of the nursery window, but then he poked his head out from the covers again. With something like a meow from a cat in pain he shrugged his shoulders and spoke.

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes,” I swore, still fuming. “I will prove you wrong. You don’t know anything.” I shoved him once more and headed back over to the armchair, poking the fire angrily with a poker on the way. Flames jumped upwards and then died down again.

I couldn’t understand why Blue thought that I wouldn’t be able to do it. The only explanation I could come up with was that he wanted me to be weak and stupid like all those other ladies, like Mum, and I didn’t want to be like that. If I was like that, then he would have all the control, and that wasn’t fair. I was bigger than him, older than him. I deserved to be able to prove him wrong.

“So,” I said, sitting myself down in the chair with an air of grace and authority. “Want to make it a bet, then?”

Blue shook his head.

“Okay,” I told him. I spoke with the sincerity of youth, but little did I know how important this promise to myself, and to him, would become in my life. “You’re on. I bet I can prove you wrong. I bet I can be just like Dr. Masterville; I’ll own the whole world, and everybody in it.”

“You will?” Blue asked meekly, the bedclothes still held tight around his head as if to keep out the words I was speaking.

“Yep.” I grinned. “I’ll even own you.”


Yup. You know you love Rouge and her awesome violent, competitive tendancies. :D

10 days until NaNoWriMo 2008!

At the end of the day you're another day colder
And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill

19th October

Now playing: Natalie Cortez - What I Did For Love (A Chorus Line)

Kiss today goodbye, the sweetness and the sorrow. Wish me luck, the same to you. But I can't regret what I did for love, what I did for love. Look my eyes are dry.

POST 100!

Yes! I actually just hit post 100 on this blog. After two years. XD That's pretty pathetic, but it makes me smile anyway.

*ahem* So... The planning for TAoM is coming along nicely. I did some basic character bios today, so I can keep track of my generally main characters. AC and Rouge got longer, more detailed, full-on biography sheets, but the rest of the characters just need the basics to get them straight in my head. I learnt some interesting stuff about my characters this way, though. Apparently Cassidy grew up in a gang, one of eight children- five of whom died before turning twenty- and has a dead sister called Juliet (I like that name). Casper now has a name (he being the other one of my two male characters, after Chris); Chris is still 2D and boring, but hey, that's just how it goes; Danger has five siblings (which I wasn't aware of until today) and she has a gay crush on AC. Mhmm. Where did THAT come from? Q longs to be noticed by Lyndon, a character I've yet to plan out, and is the super intelligent one (apparently).

This is all good, but I still have the problem of not having enough male characters, and I've yet to come up with characters for the sideshow/carnival that'll be travelling on the quest with them. And, I've not even thought about Rouge's party yet.
...

It doesn't matter. I'm getting there. >D

Also, I'm tired now. Maybe I won't blog any more tonight. =O

We did what we had to do. Won't forget, can't regret what I did for love...

18th October

I know. It's poor.

No entries for the last few days.
I don't even have an excuse. *eyeroll*

I've been busy, but no more than usual, I guess. I've not done much writing, although last night I did work on a character bio sheet for Rouge, which turned out quite amusing. She appears to have sex on the brain, all the time. XD

Erm, what else...
So, last night I got an email from UEA saying that they had got my UCAS form, and that they'd be in contact with me shortly. I was quite close to dancing around my room. No other university has emailed me or anything yet, which makes me want to go to UEA more than ever now. I mean, I REALLY want to go.

As for NaNo in general, I've never felt more unprepared. XD Today I'm thinking about going through and making really simply bio sheets for ALL of my characters who will be going on the "quest" because otherwise I won't be able to keep them straight, and then I need to work out which plot points I'm going to allocate to AC and which ones to Rouge. Other than that, though, I don't want to plan anything else because I'll get myself all bogged down and bored. I want NaNo to be all about running with random ideas even if it doesn't work out. So, maybe the feeling regarding lack of preparation isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's exactly what I need. I need to loosen up.

-_-

We just made cookies (my sister and I). Chocolate chip ones, and gingerbread ones. Though, I ate too many, and now I feel sick. Dad and Cath went out and left us cooking, and apparently when they got back they thought they might have to put out some fires, or something. They thought that the food would at least be burnt, which wasn't the case. In fact, it was only the cookies that Alisha put in AFTER dad got back that ended up burnt, and that was because we were eating lunch and she forgot about them. XP My gingerbread ones turned out splendidly; Dad ate about four of them, before being told that he should stop or the diabetes might kill him, Alisha had a couple as well, and even Cath had one and said how nice they were. *feels smug* If only I hadn't had two of them, plus a chocolate one, plus sandwiches and crisps. *feels ill*

Blergh.
Maybe I'll go lie down and think about my characters or something. I hear we're going for a walk in a little while... =P

Toodles.

Coming back for MORE?

Now playing: Idina Menzel - Let Me Fall

It's October again, leaves are falling down like rain. One more year's come and gone, but nothing's changed. Wasn't I supposed to be someone who could face the things that I've been running from?

I sent my UCAS form off tonight. Paid for it, and everything, so now all I have to wait for is Mr Kilgour to do his thang. =O

I'm watching Cold Case now, ready to go to bed. I just thought I'd post something up here, first.


KISS AND MAKE UP

"And why the fuck couldn't you tell me this before you let the monkey outside?" Rouge threw her hands up into the air and advanced on me quickly.

"I- I- the monkey wanted o-out?" I didn't know how else to defend myself, but I knew I had to say something. When Rouge got into these moods it was quite easy for her to get violent, and I had more than enough scars already. I didn't need any more. By age six I'd already counted five-hundred-and-six of the damn things, and that was before she got "damaged".

"For fuck's sake, Blue. You really are pathetic, you know that?" She began to pace up and down the Sun Room, her skirt swishing angrily around her legs.

"I know," I mumbled. All I'd done was let the monkey outside in the snow. How much harm could that do?

"God! And he actually agrees with it!" She let out a little bark of sarcastic laughter and slammed her fist against her palm. "I really hate you sometimes."

"I know," I said again. Really, what do you say when your older sister is ready to castrate you and stick your living-breathing body into a boiling vat of acid?- and I'm not exaggerating that, I've seen her do it.

"Shut the fuck up!" she shrieked. And then, before I could react I felt the whoosh of air as one of my sister's priceless vases was thrown at my head, flowers and all. Luckily, when she gets angry her aim is poor, and I was able to dodge it.

"Hey!" I yelled. "Come on Redd, there's ab- absolutely no need for that!"

"No need? No need? I'll show you no fucking need!" She grabbed another one and hurled it at my face, and then another which made contact and glanced off my shoulder. I'm surprised she's even got any of the damn things left.

"Shit! That really hurt!" I grabbed my shoulder and rubbed at it furiously whilst backing myself into a corner. It would probably be okay so long as I made her feel like she was in control.

"Oh, I'm sorry did my antique vase smash all over your shoulder? How clumsy of me. Here, have another one!" This one hit as well, bounced of my chest and knocked me backwards. And, sadly enough the only thing I could think was 'Thank God she's not using the cutlery again', because that had been an interesting experience.

"I'm sor- sorry," I said. "Real sorry. I won't do it again, I promise?"

"You sure as fuck won't!" she screeched and hurled something smaller at me. I realised upon impact that it was the monkey, and that she hadn't thrown it, the bloody thing had jumped itself like a psychotic fur-ball on a suicide kick. I pulled at the creature angrily and attempted to toss him to the floor. He bounced away before I could, though, and up into his mother's arms. "Oh, sweetie," she murmured softly. "Did he hurt you? You're a fucking bastard, Blue, you know that? A mother fucking sweet-faced bastard."

After a few moments she looked up. Chiz jumped from her arms and scampered away, and she smiled at me sweetly.

"Come here," she said. "You're bleeding."

"It doesn't matter," I said with a shake of my head. "It's only a cut."

"No," she whispered moving closer to me. "Let me have a look at that." I knew that to disobey her would be disastrous at this point, so I let her come closer. She rubbed at my arm gently, and began to trail her fingers up and down my face where a shard of the vase had grazed my right cheek. "Poor, poor baby," she whispered. It became a mantra, a soothing comforting mantra for both of us.

She kissed me once, and then again, and then pulled me down onto the bed. I could never understand why arguments always led to sex, I really couldn't.

--

I went to an interview once, for a place washing laundry at one of the local hotels. They asked me whether I'd be happy to work full hours, and actually sleep on the site, and I was only too happy to oblige. I'd have done anything to get out of that house. "Do you have any family?" they asked me, and I told them about my sisters. "So why do you want to come down here, then? Is there a reason?" they'd questioned and the only thing I'd been able to say slipped from my lips before I was ready to admit it.

"Why yes," I'd told them, "There is a reason, really. My older sister is a psychopathic sex-obsessed bitch with ambitions to take over the world, and my little sister is a glorified whore, so I don't like to spend much time with them."

Needless to say, I didn't get that job after all.

But I swear this is not who I'm meant to be

14th October

You know, it occurred to me this morning just how much I love this blog. It's silly really, because even after writing in it for two years I've only just figured out WHY I like it. And, even now, I'm still not sure. People don't really read it, not much anyway, so that can't be a reason why I'd want to make my little ranty posts... And I have another blog on livejournal, but I don't ever actually update that, so it can't just be the prospect of having some place to blog... I think I've grown rather attached to the thing, actually. I've been blogging since October 2006 now, which is two years ago to the month. I started the blog before I really began to enjoy NaNoWriMo, and now I can honestly say that when I get bored and I read back over this blog I actually enjoy doing it. I read things I wrote when I was half asleep, or things I wrote back when school was still easy. Boy, if I knew then...

So anyway. I promised a longer update today, since my blog last night was little more than a glorified in-your-face-I-managed-to-write. I guess I run out of things to talk about, though, because school just doesn't seem to be an appealing topic at the moment. I suppose I can talk about UCAS though...

I finished my person statement a while ago, now, which means that as soon as Mr. Kilgour (our head of centre for Derby Moor) checks over my form and reads my reference and such, I can get my form sent off to all the universities I'm applying to. They say that first come isn't necessarily first serve, but in my opinion, when you're applying for a course as competitive as the one I want to go for, it's best to get the statement and everything in as early as possible, in case you start to look lazy. Tonight when Mum gets home I'm going to ask her for her credit card (would you believe it costs £17 to send the form? How stupid! Imagine if you got all rejections; that would be like paying to get REJECTED. That would suck). Anyway, yeah, I'm hopefully therefore going to get that sent off later, then, and tonight I'm taking my sister up to see Derby Moor. Because we moved house, we're now in the catchment area for DM, even though I went to Littleover, which is the better schoool. We're hoping she'll get into LCS, but if she doesn't then DM is her only option, so it'll be good for her to have a look around so she can convince herself that the school isn't as bad as she thinks... Even if it is pretty bad. :/

Tonight I also have two pieces of homework to do, but that's okay. As soon as we get back from the open evening I'll get those done, and then I can work on another character sketch I started earlier. It's another AC scene with her mother, but this time it's set during and just after her mother's funeral. I thought it might be interesting to introduce Q as a character in this environment, because until now I haven't done anything with her in it.

I should probably cut this blog short now, actually. I'm due to go to back to school in three minutes for my last lesson of the day (I had lunch time off), and I've got a history lesson to work on my individual assignment. I'm studying Witchcraft in Early Modern Europe, so it's pretty awesome getting to work on it. I get to listen to music while reading, too. :D

Anyway!! Really now. I'm off. I might blog again later, but if I don't I'll at least post a couple of those sketches I wrote last night.

Toodles. <3

13th October

Today was awesome. I wrote two character sketches, and did no homework. XD

Too late to blog now, though. I'll do it tomorrow. >3

12th October (The REAL post)

Now playing: Wuthering Heights - Hayley Westenra

Out on the wiley, windy moors, we'd roll and fall in green. You had a temper like my jealousy: Too hot, too greedy. How could you leave me, when I needed to possess you?

So, today has been a pretty cool day as well. Today I didn't really do a lot, to be honest with you. I didn't wake up until 11am, and then I basically sat around all morning. I had a bit of an argument with my sister, who was being unreasonable, and my mother, who was arguing with everybody today, but other than that things went pretty smoothly. I sat around on the computer for most of the day, watched the latests episode of Bones from Thursday night which I hadn't gotten around to watching yet (I'm saving Cold Case for one night this week when I'm feeling particularly free of homework and other obligations), and then it was more internet until about half six this evening. At this point I decided I'd go around and see my friend, who I hadn't seen for a few weeks.

I spent a couple of hours at her house with one of her other friends, and we watched Eddy Izzard videos on youtube until we laughed so much we got a bit sick. >_o I headed home then, and sat around on the internet for a bit longer. The relaxation was what I needed, and it really did me good.

After a conversation on one of the NaNo threads I decided it was finally time to write my synopsis for my NaNo novel, which I've been putting off for a week or so now, and so I sat down and did that. It actually turned out pretty well, I think. It's longer than I'd planned, but it shows what the story is going to be about for both of the main characters, which is pretty effective, I think. If you want to read it, you can find it here: My NaNo Page

Whilst writing this synopsis, which I did totally on a whim, I came up with the inspiration for a character sketch for A.C. I decided in that split second (you know, as you do), that her mother was going to be a ghost who kept harassing her over the phone at the most inappropriate times, and of course this spawned a whole sketch conversation between the two of them. It's only 500 words, but I really enjoyed writing the whole thing.

Words written today: Five hundred and something, again, plus a synopsis.

Lines for today: Again, pretty much all of them. I think my favourite line tonight, though, is... "ust because you’re a non-living non-breathing trickle of residue on the phone line it does not give you the right to harass me like this every morning before work."

I hated you. I loved you, too.

12th October

That's right! You guessed it!
It's Character Sketch time! *wheeeeee*

I'll probably make another blog later. Maybe. >_o

LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALLS

“Yes, okay Mum, tonight when I go to bed I promise that I’ll make sure to lock the front door before I sleep.”

“You see! That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

“No Mum. I just don’t see the point in locking the door when there’s an alarm on anyway, and the chain’s across. Danger doesn’t go to bed until way after I do, because she doesn’t need to be up until after me-”

“Danger? Who is Danger?”

“Oh for goodness sake, Mum. We go through this every day. Just because you’re a non-living non-breathing trickle of residue on the phone line it does not give you the right to harass me like this every morning before work. One of these days you’re going to make me late!”

“It’s my duty to look after my youngest daughter,” my mother prattled. I put one hand to my forehead and sighed. What was worse than getting up early on a Monday morning for a dentist’s appointment before work? Getting up early for a dentist’s appointment before work, only to have the phone ring just seconds before I left the house. I thought today she might have forgotten, or at least that by leaving early I might avoid the conversation.

“Mum, I’m your only daughter,” I corrected her. “And besides, I’m not so little any more. Don’t you think it’s time you left me alone for a little while? You didn’t ring me this often back when you were alive, so what’s your excuse?”

“I have a lot more free time on my hands, now,” my mother complained. “It’s not like you’ve got anywhere else to be, anyway! Wouldn’t you rather talk to me instead?”

“Not really Mum,” I said to her honestly. I switched the phone to my other ear and attempted to apply another layer of lipstick in front of the hall mirror before leaving. It didn’t matter that it would only get messed up in the dentist’s office anyway; I wanted to make a good impression. “Look Mum, I told you yesterday. I’m not heading straight for work today, I have that appointment, and I’d hate to do it but if you don’t let me go I’m going to be late and I’ll have to put the phone down on you. Can we do this later, please?”

“Oh I wish you wouldn’t brush me off, so! You always act like you’re so old, and you don’t need me any more. And all I was doing was ringing up to make sure that you were okay and that you hadn’t been raped, or worse burgled in the night!” she let out a gasp of shock, and I could picture her shaking her head in shame at the gossip that might ensue.

“Sure, I know you care less about me than my money, Mum, but seriously. I am old enough to look after myself now. Come on, let me go or I’ll put the phone down. You can ring me later, I promise. When I get in from work. How about that?”

“Oh alright, alright,” she muttered airily. “If you really must go I guess I’d better not make you late.” I checked my watch. I was already late. Rolling my eyes I made a move towards the table on which the phone cradle rested. “I’ll call you tonight then, Apple. Mhmm?”

“Yes Mum, you can call me tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Good bye lovee! Good bye!”

There was a brief buzz as she residue dissipated, and then the line went dead. I have to admit, she really was making this difficult for me recently. With a toss of my head to dislodge a curl that had gotten itself stuck to my ear, I set the alarm and left the building, wondering if she’d ever just leave me alone. It really was difficult to move on and grieve when every day I could expect a phone call from the woman who was supposed to be dead.

It made me wonder, really, if it was just me. Do I attract the weird things in life? I think I must.

11th October

Now playing: It Matters To Me - Karmine Alers

If you go down burning what do you have to lose? You're so scared you can't see the truth, but I see the rainbows that you can't see. If it don't matter to you, it matters to me. Remember the times, we laughed till we cried...

Haven't really posted much here lately. I've been too busy enjoying the freedom of not having to write much at all. Today I tried out Holly Lisle's How To Beat Writer's Block, which was actually pretty effective. It got me working through the issues in the trilogy, and then proceeded to make me want to write another character sketch. The one I've written today is shorter than the first one, and from AC's point of view. It's a more general thing, not an actual scene from AC's life, but I sort of like it anyway. <3

As for school, it's busy as all hell as usual, but it's okay. Today I worked my way through the biggest piece of history homework ever, and I felt so good for it all of today, then. So I was then free to do whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. I read a chunk of The Hound of the Baskervilles for my enrichment book club, had a nap, and surfed the internet for the rest of the day.

Now, despite it being only midnight, and me not getting up until 11:30 today, I feel so tired I could literally drop to sleep right here at my keyboard without much effort at all. In fact, it would be less effort to sleep here than to do anything else. And yet, I can't sleep because I'm talking to people. I like talking to people. >_o

Anyway. I'll put the sketch here, because it's only short. Enjoy. (Or not, whatever).

RAINBOW DISASTER

The rainbow of brightly colour candies lined the walls of the sweet shop on 57th street. They could be seen even from across the street, lit by neon strip lighting across the front of the shop that read “Madam Butter Rum’s Sweet Emporium”. Every morning from the day I got the job working at that place I would feel an unexplainable desire to get inside as quickly as possible, since without the lighting, even early in the day, the street looked empty and barren. The cold greet streets were washed out and dull, and the only thing I knew would bring brightness and beauty back to the street was to get inside and turn those fantastic neon lights on.

Even when I had been working there for weeks, months, I still found myself drawn to the lights on top of the building. After much pestering I managed to get Madam Butter Rum herself to agree to add a new light to the outside of the shop. It was a classic candy wrapper image, bathed in wonderful rainbow glory. In the winter it shone like a bright light in the darkness, like the story of the Goddess Aeve coming down to Exos to bestow upon the good believing people good fortune, luck and happiness. In the summer, during those hot, sultry summer nights in the city, the lights were like a guiding beacon, showing the children that there was an end in sight to the mad heat. They would come here in there hundreds- not all at once, but they would roll into the shop in a steady stream of bodies, each with money that they couldn’t wait to spend.

Inside the shop there was always air conditioning. I had asked for that to be installed as well, since beforehand it had been too warm, and all of the staff could barely cope without passing out, never mind smile and act happy as we were ordered to. After the air conditioning unit it was easier to be happy though, and the bright lights inside the emporium made the candy glow. Sometimes I used to think on it as a disco ball, throwing out those lights of all different colours. Sometimes I wondered whether it was right for us to be exposed to the colour for so long, wondered if it would desensitise us to the beauty. But after six years of working there, I still wake up every day with the desire to run into the shop and turn the lights on. I love to bring the children into the shop, I love to hand them their candy, watch as they climb onto stools and reach up into the glass boxes for their bags of Pick ‘N’ Mix. I love to be the one who can tell them “You’ve got two more grams if you’re going to give me that much money. Why don’t you go and get some more candy to fill your bag?”

I guess I was just born to work in a sweet shop. I was born to work alongside the rainbows and neon lights that feel like religion. And that was why I felt like my whole life had been turned upside down, when I woke up one morning to find our precious sweet shop, our home in the city, was no longer there. I can tell you now, if Danger hadn’t been there with me that morning, I do believe I might have died from the shock. It was devastation. And you know what the worst part of it was? The worst part of it was that for the first time since starting work in that place, I couldn’t turn on those neon lights and watch the city come to life. This is what death must feel like, I thought. There’s no way a person could live if they were to feel as dark, and cold, and empty as this. The prophecy, then, and the resolution that was made to bring Madam Butter Rum, and her sweet emporium, back to Central City, seemed like the most logical conclusion in the world.

Words written today: Five hundred and something, plus writer's block stuff which doesn't really count.

Lines for today: I like most of them, actually.

Borrow my faith, borrow my heart..

9th October

Took last night off to do homework and watch The Sound of Music. Took tonight off to do homework, watch Austin Powers and draw a naked woman for life art. ;]

I'd write, more but it's late.
Maybe tomorrow I should write something more detailed. XD

7th October

Now playing: Beat It - Michael Jackson

No one wants to be defeated, showin' how funky strong is your fight. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right.

Today has been awesome. Seriously. I managed to hit my goal for 80k at school and then had the rest of the night to do absolutely nothing. NOTHING. I didn't go any homework. I surfed the internet until gone eight in the evening, and then decided that I fancied having a crack at writing a character development sketch for Rouge, my new villain. I wrote the scene where she first buys her mute Talk Monkey pet. I really enjoyed it, wrote 2k, and for the first time in ages I geniuinely like the whole thing. Sure, it would need editing and crap, but I don't care. I like it so much I'm going to post it here. Beware: Crap Ahead. =P

CHIZ


The first time I saw Chiz I knew I’d fallen in love. I remember he was sat by the side of some Gypsy gentleman with a wide-brimmed hat, long coat and moustache that could rival Blue’s teenage ponytail. It was getting dark outside, and the weather was taking a turn for the worst. It was getting colder, and the dark clouds overhead threatened a storm if I didn’t hurry along soon. It was the perfect weather for a carnival.

Blue had told me that morning that I couldn’t have a pet. We’d sat in the Sun Room discussing animals in general, their plus sides and negatives, because Blue loves to talk about things in terms of business deals, and I had mentioned that I wanted to get a pet. I wanted something, an animal preferably, to lighten up the house because it gets awfully lonely in the towers around wintertime. Blue had shaken his head in annoyance, smiled at me and told me that I was always buying things to make the place less lonely. He said we should just downsize.

I disagreed. And so, when Blue argued with me again I did exactly what any other self-respecting independent woman would do: I went out and bought myself a pet. The carnival was in town and had been for a couple of weeks so far, but I’d neglected going that far into the C.C. before the day I went for Chiz. The walk seemed unnecessary effort, and I was far too busy trying to paint the guest room for when Mother came to stay- she didn’t come to stay, after all, but the room does look nicer now that it’s not that hideous orange that Indie painted it the last time- and I hadn’t felt like walking more than two feet from our house, never mind all the way into the centre of the C.C. I would have needed to take the train, and at the time it seemed like more discomfort than I could bear.

But when it came down to it, I would have done anything to prove to Blue that I was right, and that he was just being childish. So, I walked the half-mile to the nearest inner-city rail station, slid on at the back and hoped that nobody I knew would see me. I hate being seen on public transport, it’s so humiliating. I’ve told Blue time and time again that we should buy a car, but he insists again and again that we don’t need one. He says that we hardly ever go anywhere, and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true. The only time I ever leave the house is to pop into the Palace Corp. to meet with The Directors, and I do that so seldom it’s not even worth it. Most of the time we work over the weblink.

The city was cool and damp, but the carnival was set apart from this biting weather in the dome they’d set up for it. Walking through there was like stepping into some giant bell jar, some bubble with almost-invisible walls. They forgot the roof though, so while the sidewalks were dry, the rest of the damn thing- all the roofs of the stalls and the little counters where they keep the rubber ducks- was soaked through.

The menagerie was located at the far end of the carnival, in a tent the size of our back yard. It stretched perhaps thirty feet in width, and was longer than I could be bothered to investigate. I didn’t head in there with the intention of buying anything in particular; I just knew that I really wanted something to live in the house with me. It would be even better if it could annoy Blue, though, and ideally I wanted something that would give Indigo the heebies. I was about to settle on searching for a snake- spiders seemed to commonplace, and besides which we already had enough of them in the attic- when I caught sight of a young girl.

She was probably no older than eight or nine, only ten or so years younger than myself at the time, and she was waving this great big banner above her head that read something like ‘Anim-azing animals on display. Beside the bar’. I didn’t even know it was legal for them to have a portable bar in a place like that, but being in the situation I was in- public transport really does mess with my nerves something rotten- I decided that it wouldn’t hurt me to have one drink. And the Anim-mazing animals didn’t sound too much of a bore either.

And that’s when I saw Chiz for the first time. The Gypsy man was sat on a barrel nursing a drink that smelt faintly like whiskey, or coffee, or possibly a combination of the two. Chiz was the most magnificent monkey I’d ever seen. He was also the first monkey I’d ever seen, and the moment I laid eyes on him I knew I had to have him.

“Is he for sale?” I asked the man, eyeing up the little ball of brown fuzz cautiously. He looked a little young- I assumed it was a ‘he’ anyway- and his face looked like a smashed watermelon, but I found him adorably cute. He sat stock-still, gazing at me with eyes that could have melted iron.

“Sure is love,” the man told me. “Hickle-back monkey, two years old. He’s an Animi, least we thinks he is. I fink he’s one of them talking ones, but as far yet we ain’t managed to get a peep out of him.” I continued to gaze at him, weighing his posture and his stare with my own. He certainly looked healthy, but if I didn’t know what a Hickle-back monkey was before that day, what did it matter if I thought he looked healthy?

“You want to get him off your hands then?” I asked coyly, twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. I learnt quite quickly in life that if you want anything for cheap, the best way to get it is to act cheap. It never fails.

“We sure do sweet ‘eart. He’s lovely an’ all, but we can’t take ‘em all back with us. You want him?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I played for time, twirling my hair some more and shifting from foot to foot. “I don’t have much money.” I counted what I did have, and that came to just over eighty Exos dollar bills. I wanted to get a drink before I left, and then maybe stop on Fourth Street to see if the new order of boots had come in.

“We was lookin’ for around sixty white,” the man told me. Sixty dollars was probably not bad for a monkey. I’d heard they were expensive; especially for a talking monkey. The little creature watched me intently, eyes following my every action as though he knew exactly the kind of scam I was trying to pull, and he admired every inch of it.

“That’s a shame,” I said, pawing at my mini skirt. I was glad I hadn’t dressed for the weather, for once. The Gypsy man was groping me with his eyes now, but I resisted the urge to shiver with disgust. All in the name of getting back at Blue. “All I’ve got is fifty dollars, and I’ve got to pay for the train fare back home...” One flick of my hair and he was almost drooling.

“Fifty you say?” he asked me. “S’all you gots?”

“Yessir,” I answered in my most earnest voice. “I really want him, too.” The monkey was bobbing his head excitedly now, rubbing his hands together.

“An’ you really want the flea ball?”

“Yessir.” I shifted feet again and brought my hands down to my lap, trying to appear younger than I was. It wasn’t hard; he was all over me.

He appeared to be thinking about my proposition, or rather my appearance and what he could say to his wife when she found out that the monkey had gone for ten dollars less than she’d wanted. He watched me, and I watched the monkey, and finally he spoke.

“So, you gots to catch the train?”

“Yessir.”

“How much white does that cost?” I quickly calculated how much it would cost a girl half my age without a privilege pass, and then clicked my fingers.

“About six dollars for that maybe.” It seemed like the long way around a negotiation, but I wasn’t going to rush him. He could ask me as many questions as he liked as long as I could get my hands on that monkey. I had the perfect little outfit in mind for him sitting in my closet from the time Indigo decided to raid the animal right’s works for contraband.

“So, you want the monkey?” I wasn’t going to get annoyed at him. I wasn’t.

“Yessir, and I have forty four dollars to give you. Can I please have him?” It took all my effort to keep the edge from my voice, and the smile I gave him hurt my face. The monkey appeared to be laughing at me.

“Forty four? You fink that’ll buy the monkey?”

“It’s all I have.”

He thought about it some more, and I imagined I could see his wife at home threatening him with a belt and sleeping on the grass outside their trailer, but apparently even her threats couldn’t hold off my charm. Finally he shook his head and laughed.

“I must be insane, girl, but you convinced me. I take it you know how to look after ‘im then?” I didn’t, but I nodded my head anyway. This kind of thing was what the weblink was for. “Alrigh’, take the poor sod. I’m sure he’ll love you.”

With a smile on my face I handed him the money from inside my bra and allowed the monkey to swing up into my arms. He still seemed to be laughing at me, but now it was in a respectful kind of way.

“By the way,” I said just as the Gypsy began to back away with his whiskey-coffee into the darkness of his stall. “Does he have a name?”

“The Misses named him Solomon,” he said. “I think it fits him.”

“Thanks.” I looked at the monkey with a degree of amusement, and the look in his face told me that he hated his name just as much as I did. “Alright,” I said once we were out of earshot- the bar was much less appealing now- “How about Chiz, and then a cup of tea in the HeartBreak?”

He nodded, and it was settled. Chiz was mine, and tea was on the menu.



Words written today: 3,267.

Lines for today: most of them.

Just Beat It, Beat It

6th October

Now playing: Never Neverland - Stephanie J. Block

In those tales bad guys seldom did win, so the captain was eaten... Mum, let me go to Never Neverland! So I'd pretend, I'm flying away.

A short entry tonight. I'm happy tonight.
I've written 1.5k today, and got to a decent scene. By which I mean a scene where Ellette gets beaten up. >_o I know I'm not very nice, but it does have something to do with the plot, honest! ... Sort of, anyway. I don't think there's actually anything else to say today, other than having an hour for a nap in the evening sure makes for a nice night. <3

I'm going back to bed now. =3

Words written today: 1,521.
Overall wordcount: 78,666 (Only 1.4k to go! =DD)

Lines for today:

"...You know, I hate that man.”

“I had gathered. We did try to blow him up.”

“And Exos how I wish we had succeeded,” Medina replied bitterly.

I'm flying away!

4th and 5th October

Now playing: I'm A Star - Eden Espinosa Someone give me a chance, and watch me break through. I deserve to be seen, this dream feels way overdue. I was born to perform more than anyone knows, I am passion and guts, I want this and it shows! It has been brought to my attention that all I ever do is rant. XD I rant, I moan. I'm boring. =O Today I've yet to write much, but that's okay. Yesterday I didn't write much either, but that's also okay. To be perfectly honest, I have all month to get this last 4k written, and I won't die if it takes me all the month to do it. =] Also, I'm happy. In a contest run by the lovely Holly Lisle (who has some fantastic writing tips on her website www.hollylisle.com) I have won today's prize. So, I should be getting my hands on a copy of her How To Beat Writer's Block. Hellyeah! I could dance. This is great. It's normally worth $50 which is wonderful in itself, but it might just help me enjoy writing again. ;] Holly, my faith lies in you. As for tonight, I think I'll get back to my writing and enjoying myself. ;3 Lines for today: “I won’t sit here discussing my sexual activity with you like a business deal. For goodness sake. I was fine before I met you, didn’t need anybody to ‘keep me busy’ then. You say it like what we had was the most special thing in the world. All it was- well, it was nothing more than a physical exchange. Nothing else. And you knew that at the time, so don’t be giving me all this rubbish about my longing for physical intimacy after you’d gone. If I remember correctly- and I know I do- it was you who talked me into sleeping with you the first time, which proves my point. I can cope perfectly well without a sexual relationship.” “So?” I am more than the average no one - one chance!

3rd October

They say that things always work out okay in the end, more so than you expect. At the moment I'm inclined to actually disagree with that, but I do have to concede that there are moments of light within every dark episode. This week has been a pretty draining one, and I have the distinct impression that this is exactly what life is going to be like for the next year. It's a depressing thought, simply because if this is how worn out I'm feeling after one month, how am I going to be feeling after a whole year of it?

And more importantly: how the hell am I going to be able to sit down and do NaNoWriMo with this much work on my plate? I suppose this is a thought I'm going to have to ignore for a little while. I'll have to condition myself to appreciate the more positive things in life, and stop myself from spending so much time gazing stupidly at the negative elements of every situation. But, even as I think this and make little resolutions to myself that I will honestly think in a more positive light, I find myself unable to do so. It's ridiculous, but the amount of stupid things being thrown at me at the moment is doing more than keeping me on my toes. It's like a dog trying to be a ballerina. It's not working.

So, right now I'm sat here thinking about my week and trying to pull out all of the positive bits. So far I've got... Not a lot. This week I've done all of my homework. Of course, I had some problems with that (involving a teacher getting annoyed at me because of a USB stick corruption that totally wasn't my fault- and HELL I emailed it him anyway...), but let's not think about that. So, I did all my homework. Well, all except for that important coursework that I have no idea how to go about and that stupid personal study for history which is eating my brain out.

I wrote 2,500 words today, which is more than I've written all week. And although this shows today to be a good day, it also suggests that this week has been incredibly poor. Aw hell, another negative point. Today I had a nap when I felt tired, but then of course we can relate this to my energy levels and discuss the fact that at seventeen years old, even with a full eight hour + night sleep, I still need to take daily naps. Does that make me weird? Or is it just because I'm constantly tired, and things are so much better when I'm sleeping? Perhaps I should avoid answering my own questions, because the answers only ever come out cynical and depressive anyway. Either that or I get sidetracked and never actually answer the questions I started out with.

And, to be perfectly honest, I can see nothing more positive about my week. And, this week was a week without much homework, and week that should have been easy. Whatever does that mean for next week? I can only worry because the more I think about it, the more worried I get, and the more worried I get the more I think about it. It's a horribly vicious circle, in which I find myself close to tears on numerous occasions and people simply telling me that it will either get better (my mother), or worse (all the teachers at school). Where do that leave me? *eyeroll*

So, aside from all this useless angst, I suppose there is little else for me to do tonight except sleep it off. Again. I just hope this time that it works.

I guess tomorrow I have my NaNo meet to look forward to. I hope it's one of those cold, fresh days that tastes like frost and autumn, and looks bright and cool. I don't want one of those horrible grey days, with no sunlight and nothing but drizzle rain. At least if it's going to rain (which I hope it doesn't because I don't have an umbrella and I have to walk through the town centre to get to the pub) I want it to rain properly. I want the heavens to open and pour buckets of the stuff from the sky whilst playing a loud thunder rumble and some bright flashes of lightning. No, what I want tomorrow is a nice crisp autumn day. I wonder if, for once, I can have this nice weather when I want it, so I can go out tomorrow all wrapped up in gloves and scarf and wash all the depression away with that biting wind. =P

Anyway. I have rambled for FAR too long tonight, and I'm sure this is getting boring. I could go on all night, but I have to get up in a few hours, so it's probably best that I get some sleep.

Words written today: 2,549

Overall word count: 76,114

Lines for today:

“Miaan...”

“Yeah?”

“Miaan, I slept with Ellette.”

Miaan’s head jerked at her words as he turned his head towards her. “What?”

“More than once.” She began to feel sick; her stomach was churning and all she could think of was the lake, and the rolling waters around her body, and the cool grass beneath her body.

2nd October

It's not that I have nothing to say.

It's rather that I haven't the energy to say it.

1st October 2008

I'll keep this short because the internet is lagging, but, YEY NANOWRIMO THREAD BY DAYS IS UP! I've been waiting for this for WEEKS. I've also written 500 words today, been told by my English teacher that I'm very widely read, and done all my homework. Aren't I just awesome? :B

Wordcount: 73,568 / 80,000
Words written today: 559.

Lines for today:

It was dark in our room, breezy but dark, and I was lying just dozing when I felt her hand on my arm. It was the first time we have made love indoors, because the lake seems to be our special place.

Countdown: 31 days